Quite some time has passed

Well, so it seems that my resolve to write at least once a week here has desolved. I'm not really surprised, I have a terrible memory to keep up with things. Well, so what has changed since last time? For one, I'm on medication now for depression. How depressing. In all honesty, it was probably long past due, but all's well.

So I have another new(er) job. It has a tocuh of monotony, but at least I am on a computer. Also the money is better. After years of manual labor I am really having to adjust to this office lifestyle. It's weird having to wear pants, and to not be profusely sweating. But I'm still not where I want to be. Unfortunately, I am starting to feel that nothing permanent will ever come my way. It kind of sucks, but I guess there's not too much to do. I just keep wishing and waiting.

On an all too ironic note, I am looking to move back to Greensboro. I think having sometime to regather myself and really do some self-evaluating (and medicating) that I could really handle being on my own now. The truth is, I didn't hate Greensboro, but I was severely in need of a win, and kept putting marks in the "Loss" column. But I have somethings out there that I'm enjoying. I bowl with Ben every Sunday, and it's just a lot better being there with a clear mind, sans crippling depression. It is unfortunate though that Greensboro may forever be stained with my mistakes when I think about it. But again, I'm starting to do better.

Well, I don't think there's too much more to say... for now.

-Jordan

Lost on Stage

I am under the tungsten lights
Lens focused on me
I've forgotten every goddamn line
How embarrassing
I beg the director to yell "cut!"
But the scene endures
Between the rocks, I'm stuck
My role is so absurd.

Just to say some things

Okay, so I want to make a point to write something at least every couple of days, even if nothing big is going on. It just helps clear my mind a bit. So I took the LSAT a couple of weeks ago, and I'm in a constant state of jumpy nerves. I have to wait to more weeks until I hear from the test, and still it'll be awhile after that until I hear from schools. Eh, no good.

So other than that, there's not too much going on. I am looking forward to the Oscars though. I love movies in general, but I saw Slumdog Millionaire and instantly wanted it to sweep. The cinematography was not only beautiful, but aesthetically wonderful. The composition of some of the shots just left me in awe. All I know is that I am looking for it to bring back many awards. Well, I guess that is the most interesting thing going on right now with me. I want to start filming more and taking more pictures in the near future, so maybe I'll share some light writings soon.

Introduction:

So I'm new to this site, and decided to just ramble on about myself for a couple of sentences. I've done some blogging before on MySpace, but I use that primarily as a cathartic release when I am frustrated, which I guess now I'll be doing here.

To start, I want to explain my blog name a little bit. I was a Resident Adviser my senior year in college, and the Resident Director and I had many conversations. Well to cut to the point, he told me about a book he was reading once, and it was a study of self-identity if I remember correctly. And one of the subjects mentioned that he saw himself as consisting of tiny mirrors, reflecting to others what they wanted to see rather than seeing who he really was. Something along those lines. I sympathize with that thought, for I have felt the same way at times, and I thought it would be appropriate. Although I am a complex person, a majority of my facade consists of me being a sarcastic, fun-loving person, and that is what people like to see, so I try to reflect it whenever I can. But under the reflective surface is much more, and in a way I like to convey that other side with the periodic release of things that bother me (but not to worry, not everything that bothers me is profound and serious. Sometimes I am annoyed by current trends, etc...) Anyways, that is a little about me.

A little more about me on the lighter side:
I am a big film lover. I watch many movies, and then spend hours reflecting on what the main point was, and over analyzing the deeper meanings. I also love photography, and will temporarily post pictures just for the hell of it. So a lot of things on here may just be me commenting on entertainment I have ingested, and my following thoughts on them.

Fin